It is very surreal for me not to be in New York right now. All day yesterday listening and watching the news about Superstorm Sandy (and constantly checking Twitter and Facebook updates) definitely made me feel so very far from the place I still call home.
My apartment in Brooklyn is the place I’ve lived the longest in my entire life. Being so literally far removed from the place that has been my heart and soul for over 15 years was (and is) very disconcerting. I know that I would have been cooped up in said small apartment and complained that I was stuck inside going stir crazy but to be in California where it was (and is) sunny and 80 degrees feels like a betrayal to friends, family and even my very own self.
I was in New York for 9/11 and will never forget the sights, sounds, smells and stories of that day and the many days following. It was a very special time in a very special city.
The emotions ran the gamut and there was something intangible that I felt about being a New Yorker at that time. Being here in California, at this time, so very far away, I realize that physical distance is more than miles, it’s emotional as well. I will not be a part of that New York fabric of people that experienced and will deal with the aftermath of Sandy.
I’ve gotten many messages from people who have all intimated how lucky I am not to have been in New York during what has been called the biggest disaster on record by the NYC Metropolitan Transit Authority. I feel lucky that I didn’t have to deal with power outages, flood waters, home damages, medical emergencies, food shortages, transportation issues, work rescheduling and the many other disaster plan effects but I wouldn’t say that I’m happy.
I will be going back to visit Brooklyn in a little over a week and I can’t wait to be back to the place that still very much feels like home in my heart. I’m nervous to see the destruction and sad at the thought of how many times and how hard this poor city and it’s people have been hit. However, it will be very strange to be know I will not be one of them.
It’s natural you, we the people, should feel such emotions & think such thoughts about place(s) we’ve spent so much time/history. And yet something so normal, 2nd nature, needs so very little to make it feel so unnatural or strange.
I find that can be weird & stressful. But that’s Life.
I look 4ward to your reports (on your new blog!) when you take a trip back to your old home later this month.
Thanks so much for your comment. You get the honor of being my first comment!
The past few days have been even more stressful since posting. I’ve gone back and forth about whether or not we will even make the trip to NY and it has made me physically ill. My husband will be arriving tomorrow night and will give me the heads up on whether or not he feels it will be OK to come.
The support is welcomed and appreciated.
Thanks, MB. Now u got me thinking & hoping, & wishing & praying that the honor of being your 1st someday grows in value 1 day! 🙂